may days

You may recall that Murphy S. Law moved in last month.  We posted his eviction notice, but... the saga continues.

They say you don't know what you've got til it's gone.  Well, in my case, I didn't know what a crappy dishwasher we had until I got a new one.  It stands to reason that appliance technology has come a long way in 10 years, but I guess I didn't know what I was missing.  I don't have to wash dishes anymore before putting them in the dishwasher.  There's a novel idea!

Between the appliance apocalypse, my grandfather's passing, and Hayes's car needing repairs, I thought April had finished with us.  Not so much.

4/28 - Monday afternoon - I fell ill with some sort of stomach ailment.  I wasn't sure what the problem was but it was definitely something out of the ordinary.  By the time Hayes got home from work, I was doubled over and couldn't escape the pain in my abdomen.  It wasn't the correct side for appendicitis, but it wasn't your run of the mill sour stomach either.  It got to the point that we called in our reinforcements and Hayes took me to the emergency room.  Mind you, I have never been a patient in a hospital beyond childbirth, so it had to be bad for me to request the ER. 

We arrived at Vanderbilt at about 7:30pm and went through triage, billing, and a whole lot of waiting until I finally got a bed at 11pm.  Honestly, I don't remember much because I was in so much pain that that's all I remember.  Tests, ultrasounds, a few winks after morphine kicked in.... finally at about 2 am, the doctor came in saying that a CT scan had revealed a kidney stone the size of a Tic-Tac.  More tests and more waiting revealed a treatment plan.  So now I have a stent to help heal a fissure and its infection, and then in a few weeks I'll go back to blast out the stone.  Who knew a tic-tac could be more painful than childbirth!?

The procedure is a complete blur.  I remember having a conversation with the anesthesiologist and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in recovery with a very sweet nurse offering me a coke.  YES PLEASE! It had been 18 hours since I was able to eat or drink anything. I didn't even stop to think about the irony of drinking a coke after a kidney procedure.  Peter and Davis have both told me they think this happened because I drink too much Coke.  Touche'. 

So here I sit, finally beginning to feel normal again.  I suppose in the grand scheme of things, this is hardly an ailment about which to complain.  Suffice it to say, the whole family was very eager for May.... with good reason. Sunshine!  Outside! Camping! Handy new hiking backpacks with a built-in water bottle!  Now there's no reason to go inside.  Ever.  It's not like the air conditioners are behaving.  As I type it's 83 degrees upstairs.  (Hello, Murphy.  Always a pleasure an adventure.)

the curls!

davis has mastered the art of pumping his own swing.  we're all pretty excited about that. 

best buddies

best buddies, part 2

dollface

matty insists he's big enough for the real slide.  none of that little tikes business.

it's that time again!  after the last baby bird debacle, i did my best to protect these babies from harm.  unfortunately, as they fled the nest, chief was waiting for the weakest flier.  at least he finally caught something, poor dog. 

we now have a nebulizer and we are ready for the next cold.  sweet baby boy just goes to sleep.

easter 2014, before any arguing

the first campout of the summer

supervising while i spread pine straw

some people find change in their laundry.  i find baby pinecones and rocks. 

crooked little smile

after three boys, the baby gate finally gave way - and took a piece of drywall with it.  is this a metaphor for my life?

Davis and Matthew are out of school, and Peter goes to school two more days, though there likely isn't going to be much schooling going on.  Next week begins the three ring circus known as summer camp, when I have to be at least two places at once at least once a day.  I'll just have to add that to my list of superpowers!

on home warranties

Hayes and I have been faithful home warranty subscribers since we bought this house in 2006.  Every year we waited for the big payoff, all the while the premium kept rising exponentially.  Last year, with the addition of tuition into our budget, we decided to scrap the home warranty.  We knew it was risky, but we also knew that we've already replaced quite a bit and the premium was really outrageous.

Then came last week.

Thursday: We arrive home from dinner to see the basement ceiling is dripping onto the basement carpet.  Upon further investigation, we learn our air conditioner drain was clogged and drip dropping for who knows how long between the walls on the main floor.  Yay.

Friday:  A/C professional visits and seems overwhelmed.  Another expert (read: salesman) will visit tomorrow to review options.

Saturday: After learning about my grandfather's passing, we are told that we are looking at replacing the units upstairs.  That's right.  Units. Still no air, frantically making travel plans, and hosting a party that night.

Wednesday: Second opinion - don't do anything except replace the coils. WHAT?  Such discrepancy requires a third opinion.

Thursday: Our dishwasher stops draining.  A pool of stagnant water is collecting at the bottom of the tub.  No clog to be found.  Commence hand washing all dishes and be sure that paper plates are on the grocery list.

Friday: Third A/C opinion offers middle ground, thankfully.  Also, our home alarm has a short of some sort, spontaneously and intermittently creating a really obnoxious beep every two minutes.

Sunday: Our wireless router dies.  Can't get internet, email, etc.until I purchase a new router.  Now.  Hayes has work to do and I have dishwasher shopping to do. 

You heard it here first, folks.  Welcome to the Great Appliance Apocalypse of 2014.

(takes a bow)

This is the product of my third session of dish washing yesterday. I think we're gonna need a bigger sink.

pop

When I was young, I spent a lot of time at my grandparents' house.  As one of twenty cousins, there were always people coming and going at Pop and Gran's house. It's where I learned how to care for babies, how to sleep away from home, how to use correct change at the little market across the street.  We would usually get poboys or go out for crawfish and fried shrimp, always filling up on crackers before the food arrived.  Pop would retire early while Gran and I would watch Golden Girls together.  I can't begin to count how many nights were spent this way when I was little.  I never felt more secure than when I was with them.

We lost Pop last Saturday.  He had successfully undergone double-bypass surgery last month but post-op complications were too much for his body to bear. At 87 years old, he left behind his wife of 66 years, 7 kids, 20 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren. 

Upon hearing that Pop needed surgery, I began to face the realization that our time with him was limited.  I was home for spring break shortly after he entered the hospital, so I got to spend a few hours with him.  He would always greet me with a tight hug, but this one was different.  He held on.  His usual sharp wit was overshadowed by discomfort and an unusual dependence upon others.  Nonetheless, we visited for hours about everything from the kids to current events and times gone by.  I was able to take care of him, for a change. As I left the hospital that day, I took solace in the feeling that he knew how much I loved him.  What more can we hope for, really? 

A lot of girls grow up thinking that their daddies hung the moon. I suppose that is because their daddies are their protectors, their biggest cheerleaders and fiercest advocates.  Pop was mine. So much more than a grandfather. 

He mellowed with each generation, becoming increasingly gentle and comfortable with the endless stream of babies. I will be forever grateful for the 36 years I had with him, especially the last seven years he spent getting to know my children. 

c. 2008, Pop and Peter having Granny's gumbo together

Peekaboo!

c. 2011 Tractor ride with Peter - always part of our visits

Davis's turn on the tractor

Meeting Matty c. 2012

Pop took such pride in this massive family of ours. Above all, I'll always remember the peaceful satisfaction in his eyes when we were all together and I could tell he was thinking, "I made this." There's no greater gift than knowing we all made a good man proud.

I will think of him often, but especially at the poker/bourré table when I have a bad hand. In his words, "a hand like a foot."

Ba-dum-chh!
[lame joke drum sequence]

cure for the wintertime blues

I suppose that my ongoing resolve to write more updates has been proven weak, at best.  The good news is that while I have not been writing, we have been doing.  The boys are trying all sorts of new things to fill these cold winter days, and we've found a few new favorite activities. 

Unfortunately, Chief isn't too thrilled with the idea that we aren't playing outside very much lately.  This box of diapers had been delivered no more than an hour before I found this in the driveway.  He has nibbled/ruined packages including baby hats (Gifts! Don't make assumptions, folks!), a pair of velvet pants, and pajamas. 

Anyone who has spent four minutes with Hayes can tell that he doesn't sit still for very long.  These long days require activity beyond the walls of our house, so we've had to get creative.  A few weeks ago, he took the bigs to Climb Nashville, a rock climbing outfit that we've heard about for a while but didn't know if the boys were big enough.  Peter has fallen in love with it, and Hayes enjoys it too.  They have now been four times, though Davis may enjoy it more once he's a little bigger.

Hayes has been able to show the boys some of his favorite spots along the trails that he runs so often.  These hikes have been a godsend for expending energy.  Peter even brought his night vision goggles along on a sunset hike.

One Saturday was their introduction to ice skating.  While they were tentative at first, it was apparently fun enough to want to go back. 

 Meanwhile...

Lemme learn about those Jedi mind tricks -- maybe they can get me more Fruit Loops.

There have been some sunny days for which we just bundle up and go to the park.

Monkeys

Then there are the days so cold or wet that we don't even want to leave the house.

We've now added more tracks to this latest obsession:  motorized LEGO TRAINS!  I think the realization that Peter and Davis could combine their favorite things just blew their minds.

But by far, the best days are the sunny, warmer days that we've seen this past week.  We've spent time outside in the backyard and at parks and on hikes and bicycles.... and apparently in the sandbox too.

Sand?  What sand?!

Have I mentioned that we have a FOUR year old now!?! This love monkey turned four on his school's "polka dot day," so we celebrated accordingly.

Complete with icing moustache

He requested a party at an indoor playground that has lots of trains, and he was happy as a clam.  He's forming some sweet friendships; it's really thrilling to see him interact with kids who are not his brothers.  At home, he's got a sassy streak and dabbles in defiance.  When we mentioned this at his parent teacher conference, his teachers didn't believe us.  He is apparently an angel at school, which doesn't surprise me given his heart of gold.  When he's not vying for attention or marking territory somehow, he is the most thoughtful, considerate, and fun-loving kid I have ever known.  And yes, he still loves trains.  It's the phase that won't end.

Way after bedtime, I poked my head in to find this little conductor deep in concentration.

Peter.  Peter, Peter, Peter.  What a happy kid.  I think he loves school even more than I ever did, and that's saying something.  He is very concerned about fairness and we struggle to find the balance between making something "fair" and explaining that "life isn't fair."  He has gained quite a bit of confidence these last months, learning to take initiative and introduce himself to new people, ask questions himself instead of using us as middle men, and showing an adventurous side previously unknown to us. He is helpful and kind-hearted, yet impulsive.  That split second it takes to think, "would Mommy be happy about this?" is apparently just too much.  

Watching a movie.  In the basement.  With the lights off.  All of us parents were in the next room lamenting their teen years, and laughing hysterically at this visual.

 Oh yeah, and he's the heartthrob of his class.  Yes, you read that correctly. He is currently involved in a love triangle with Avery and Eliza (above).  Another friend suggested that her mother would rather have Peter than her.  I get pulled aside by other moms to tell me how polite and well spoken Peter was when he sees them around school.  I have always known he's a great kid, but he's growing into a really good citizen, too.  I'm so very proud.


But pride cometh before the fall.

"Worst day of my life. Mom can't record [Super Bowl XLVIII] [again]. Dad deleted it. :("  First world problems, kiddo.  Plus, Peyton didn't play all that well.

And then it finally happened, folks.  The first wiggly tooth finally popped out after two very impatient weeks.  "And it didn't hurt a bit!"

Now who's looking proud?

Last but certainly not least is Matty.  Hayes routinely asks me what kind of boy Matty will be because apparently I guessed correctly when the others were infants.  I kid you not, I can't read this one.  He's been too good to show any signs of trouble of any kind.  Until lately, that is.  He learned to throw fits.  Like, drop down on the ground/driveway/rocks/bathroom floor and flail while banging his head on the aforementioned hard surfaces.  Poor third child - at least I move him to a softer spot to throw his tantrum before I walk off.  He's giving it the old college try, but he's beginning to sense that I just may have more willpower on this one thing.  Scene from one such tantrum - I moved him from the concrete to the grass:

The flip side is that when he's not fretting, he is absolutely as delightful as ever.  He continues to chase after his brothers every chance he gets, but he also appreciates those days when both bigs are at school and he has free reign.  He, too, adores trains - not that he has a choice with Davis around.  Matty and Chief are big buds at the moment since Matty realized Chief isn't trying to knock him down, he's trying to kiss on him.  Cue giggles. He hates sandwiches and baby gates and being told no. He loves climbing, fruit loops (third kid - don't judge), stray sippy cups, wandering off, sweets, snacks, trains, cars, puzzles, music and books.  His favorite book is about noses, though we're missing something because he still points to his nose when I mention his toes. When music comes on, his body immediately begins to bounce and shake.  Music class is a hoot.

As with the others, speech comes slowly.  Frankly, why should he speak when he has two brothers very eager to put words in his mouth? He's calling me by name and calls for Hayes immediately upon hearing his voice.  He has begun answering yes or no questions fairly intelligibly (yeh/na) and definitely has perfected his request for "more."  His scrunchy nose and sweet curls are his trademarks, but his playful disposition is really the hallmark of his babyhood. Sitters and his teachers don't like letting go of him when I return.  I think they engage me in conversation just to snuggle with him a little longer.  Honestly, I can't blame them! 

We spent a great deal of time outside this past weekend and I caught him in action.  He spent a solid half hour with this one dump truck, rolling and carrying it across this one small area of the yard.  Nothing in it (though he does love containers!), but just working so hard to move that truck. 

We also went to the zoo, just the two of us.  I had him in the backpack so I didn't have to push a stroller, and he got some great views of the monkeys and elephants.  It was too early for some of the animals, but he loved every minute.  Especially juice breaks.

I agree, kiddo.  Good people watching. 

I always said that Peter and Davis are such opposites that there was really no way to know how or where Matthew would fall on the spectrum.  I'm coming to realize that I can't even compare them that way.  He reminds me of each of them in lots of little ways, but he is definitely his own little person. From taking a pacifier to throwing sandwiches across the table in disgust, he is finding ways both big and small to set himself apart from his brothers. 

Different as they may be, they are so lucky to have each other. Yet, I still think I'm the luckiest of the lot.

state of grace

Well, December went by quickly.

Note: I began this post hours ago and sat back down to finish - only to find a blank screen. And so it goes.

Every year it's a mad rush: holiday parties, shopping, organizing, planning and cooking. I did myself such a favor and finished the shopping early, had a lot of help with the family dinner, and devised a system for gifts that worked like a charm. I was able to relax and spend those winter days curled up with my boys. We had dance parties, we baked, we read, we explored, we crafted(!), we discovered new hobbies, we cleaned up after out elves, and someone even let us convince him to try pooping in a potty. I mean, a lot happened in a month. If you ask Peter, though, one of the highlights was winning a basketball championship with a buzzer shot that rivaled the Auburn Alabama game.









Christmas in Nashville is always a little quieter than it was for me growing up among 20 cousins and a dozen aunts and uncles. It seems so calm in spite of the noise that my own kids make. We celebrate Christmas night with church, dinner and family gifts so that Christmas day can be spent in pajamas with coffee and slippers watching the magic that only Santa can provide. It's always anyone's guess how Christmas Eve sleep goes for the kids. We've had Peter up from 10pm - 2am waiting for Santa, we've had a Benadryl-drunk Peter stripping at the table before falling asleep at the table, and we've had boys waking us at 5am to go downstairs. This year, Peter ran into our room at 3:56am complaining that his clock was moving way too slowly. It was clear that containing them would be counter-productive, so Hayes and I passed out on the couch at 4:30 while the big boys sampled all the loot. Yet another reason having a quiet day is convenient!

But NEWSFLASH!! Peter and Davis are friends! The big boys are actually choosing the play together - not just in the same room but partnering up against the imaginary villain of the hour. Their conversations are hilarious if not confusing. Their silliness is heartwarming and their fighting is frequent, but so is the forgiving.





Christmas in the middle of the week threw everything off - work schedules and travel schedules and school schedules didn't mesh very well this year. A few days after the holiday, I made the long awaited trek to Louisiana for my first visit since last New Year's. I'd been so lonesome and missing out on happy things like weddings, babies and showers make me even more so. The boys have been asking to visit for a while so I was determined to make it work somehow.




10 hours driving, one night in Birmingham, one lunch with a dear college friend, 473 of a 500 mile leg in the rain, coming waaaay too close to running out of gas, 7 DVDs and three pretty good co-pilots later, we arrived. A Christmas miracle.

No, a real miracle is my cousin's quadruplets born yesterday. At 27 weeks, it is utterly amazing that they are so strong and so healthy despite all hovering around 2 pounds. The smallest has been breathing on her own from the beginning. Three girls and a boy made their way into our family yesterday and I am so glad I am home to welcome them. There is no better tribe to join.

Cousins!
















It is the last day of the year, and I was talking about resolutions with the boys. Peter wants to work on "drawing better and listening better... and loving on [me] more." Davis wants to work on "finding more trains and putting the DVDs in." Clearly my explanation failed him.

2013 has been about the boys finding their places in the family. It's been about me taking better care of myself. It's been about Hayes taking on more responsibilities at work, tackling big challenges with big solutions and earning [more] respect from those with whom he works.

I've been thinking a lot lately about cutting myself some slack. I have high expectations for myself and all the hats I wear. While lofty goals are motivating for me, I am equally hard on myself when things go awry. That isn't good for me and it's certainly not good to model that for the boys.

I'm so proud of our family and the life we build every day. The days get away from me and the daily grind prevents me from focusing on the big picture. As the year comes to a close, I'm grateful for the strides we have made but I am excited about the year that lies ahead.

My resolution: I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

Happy, happy new year to you.