state of grace

Well, December went by quickly.

Note: I began this post hours ago and sat back down to finish - only to find a blank screen. And so it goes.

Every year it's a mad rush: holiday parties, shopping, organizing, planning and cooking. I did myself such a favor and finished the shopping early, had a lot of help with the family dinner, and devised a system for gifts that worked like a charm. I was able to relax and spend those winter days curled up with my boys. We had dance parties, we baked, we read, we explored, we crafted(!), we discovered new hobbies, we cleaned up after out elves, and someone even let us convince him to try pooping in a potty. I mean, a lot happened in a month. If you ask Peter, though, one of the highlights was winning a basketball championship with a buzzer shot that rivaled the Auburn Alabama game.









Christmas in Nashville is always a little quieter than it was for me growing up among 20 cousins and a dozen aunts and uncles. It seems so calm in spite of the noise that my own kids make. We celebrate Christmas night with church, dinner and family gifts so that Christmas day can be spent in pajamas with coffee and slippers watching the magic that only Santa can provide. It's always anyone's guess how Christmas Eve sleep goes for the kids. We've had Peter up from 10pm - 2am waiting for Santa, we've had a Benadryl-drunk Peter stripping at the table before falling asleep at the table, and we've had boys waking us at 5am to go downstairs. This year, Peter ran into our room at 3:56am complaining that his clock was moving way too slowly. It was clear that containing them would be counter-productive, so Hayes and I passed out on the couch at 4:30 while the big boys sampled all the loot. Yet another reason having a quiet day is convenient!

But NEWSFLASH!! Peter and Davis are friends! The big boys are actually choosing the play together - not just in the same room but partnering up against the imaginary villain of the hour. Their conversations are hilarious if not confusing. Their silliness is heartwarming and their fighting is frequent, but so is the forgiving.





Christmas in the middle of the week threw everything off - work schedules and travel schedules and school schedules didn't mesh very well this year. A few days after the holiday, I made the long awaited trek to Louisiana for my first visit since last New Year's. I'd been so lonesome and missing out on happy things like weddings, babies and showers make me even more so. The boys have been asking to visit for a while so I was determined to make it work somehow.




10 hours driving, one night in Birmingham, one lunch with a dear college friend, 473 of a 500 mile leg in the rain, coming waaaay too close to running out of gas, 7 DVDs and three pretty good co-pilots later, we arrived. A Christmas miracle.

No, a real miracle is my cousin's quadruplets born yesterday. At 27 weeks, it is utterly amazing that they are so strong and so healthy despite all hovering around 2 pounds. The smallest has been breathing on her own from the beginning. Three girls and a boy made their way into our family yesterday and I am so glad I am home to welcome them. There is no better tribe to join.

Cousins!
















It is the last day of the year, and I was talking about resolutions with the boys. Peter wants to work on "drawing better and listening better... and loving on [me] more." Davis wants to work on "finding more trains and putting the DVDs in." Clearly my explanation failed him.

2013 has been about the boys finding their places in the family. It's been about me taking better care of myself. It's been about Hayes taking on more responsibilities at work, tackling big challenges with big solutions and earning [more] respect from those with whom he works.

I've been thinking a lot lately about cutting myself some slack. I have high expectations for myself and all the hats I wear. While lofty goals are motivating for me, I am equally hard on myself when things go awry. That isn't good for me and it's certainly not good to model that for the boys.

I'm so proud of our family and the life we build every day. The days get away from me and the daily grind prevents me from focusing on the big picture. As the year comes to a close, I'm grateful for the strides we have made but I am excited about the year that lies ahead.

My resolution: I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

Happy, happy new year to you.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

Okay so frequency is not my forte. 

There's a sign I see for sale in cutesy shops that says, "Pardon our mess.  My children are making memories."  Let's just say my house is a wreck. 

November just flew.  Basketball practice and games every weekend, birthday parties, swimming, and football games (high school, Bama, and our Titans)... and then of course Thanksgiving.  It was an exciting month, though!  Lots to report.

He'd have been so perfect for the 80s

Swimming wears this one out!

His first of many pancake breakfasts

Our first snow of the year - in October!?

"Leafs!"

Mighty proud of his coast guard creation

at the Titans game - but mostly just paying attention to the bowl of M&Ms

These two love each other so very much.

Cheese!

Early in November, we found ourselves fighting yet another round of ear infections for Matty, which was finally the last straw.  He got tubes soon after and he seems so very much happier.  Once all that gunk was gone he could balance himself; he began walking within days.  He did end up with bronchiolitis again but it never turned into an ear infection, as it has done a dozen times before.  He got over it quickly and moved right along.  He is still gaining confidence on his feet but clearly enjoys his new perspective. It took some weeks for him to grow accustomed to socks and shoes since he'd been barefoot since birth, but now he finds random socks around the house and tries to put them on, regardless of their size.  If he sees me at the shoe bin, he bolts over to get his shoes on.  He adores his big brothers and can't stand staying on the sidelines.  He wants in whether it's a wrestling match, a playground game or a snack.  Especially snacks.

The snackiest boys you'll ever meet

He still only has 6 teeth, which had been an issue for eating.  Now he's gotten a taste of the good stuff and figured out a way to chow down on crackers and nuggets and pasta and pizza.  Thank goodness I don't have to rely on baby food pouches to get his fruits and veggies anymore.  Although he does love his applesauce! 


I have said from the start that Matty is a smiley boy but this past month he seems to have really come into his own.  Maybe the walking, maybe the tubes, maybe just the age -- he is happy as can be.  He went though a (thankfully) brief phase of banging his head on anything and everything - fits and tantrums.  Now it's all fun and games.  He sneaks that pudgy bare foot up onto the kitchen table while he eats, all the while watching me and smirking.  He scrunches his nose and smiles with his eyes... he's just so happy and precious! 

Waving to his brothers at swimming lessons

Pre-haircut ;)

Our extended family has grown a little bit in the past month, too.  My mom married her longtime beau while on vacation in Colorado. She still splits her time between Texas and Louisiana - and Nashville too, I guess! We also have a big wedding coming up in August.  Hayes's sister McCall is now engaged to "Uncle Jay" and they are in the throes of planning.  It's funny to think back about how exciting a time that was for me, yet also so very stressful.  You don't realize how much goes into that process until you do it yourself.  You don't know how fun it is, either! 

Thanksgiving began with Grandparents Day at Peter's school, which brought Reenie and Nanny into town for the festivities.  Peter was so excited to show off Ensworth and perform "Over the River and Through the Woods" in the musical program. 

With Nanny, McCall and Jay all celebrating elsewhere, our Turkey Day was quiet.  Reenie fed us a small feast and we settled in for a football weekend.  Not much shopping was done, but we took the big boys to see a movie and tinkered around the house.  Our big feast was Saturday night once McCall and Jay returned, and after our house divided suffered through the "most thrilling college football game in the history of college football."  As Jay and McCall both attended Auburn, they were very happy.  Hayes and Tommy, not so much.

Of course with the passing of Thanksgiving comes the onslaught of all things Christmas.  We hauled all the loot down from the attic, trimmed the tree and decked the halls.  Our elves, Flapperjinks and Sam, arrived from the North Pole with very specific instructions for the kids.  Get along.  Be kind.  Take care of each other.  Shouldn't be so hard, right!?  Right?!  We have seen glimpses of peace in which the boys are all playing quietly either alone or together.  Sharing, not picking, not arguing... bliss.  Short-lived, but bliss nonetheless. Matty is quite a train lover, much to Davis's dismay.  He hasn't had much competition for trains and tracks until now, so I've been busy building tracks massive enough for two kids to crawl around.  Davis has a habit of wanting something only after Matthew picks it up.  So he yanks it, which causes Matthew to scream and grunt and roar as his brothers have modeled so lovingly.  I'm actually glad that we have so many trains and tracks now - plenty to go around. 

Anyway, the elves.  Mischief makers in their own right.  Take a look!

This is a magical year for both Peter and Davis.  We have done some dealing with Santa and decided to change up our Christmas routine this year.  Hayes and I will give the want, need, wear, and read presents.  Santa is going to leave one pile of presents for the family instead of individual piles for each boy.  Frankly, everyone ends up using everything anyway - even the baby toys carry a sort of novelty for the big boys.  We'll see how that goes.  Maybe it'll cut down on the "...but Santa gave that to ME three years ago!" types of commentary. 

I am thrilled to report to that I am just shy of being finished with all the shopping and preparation for the Christmas hullabaloo and therefore I'm just shy of being able to relax and enjoy the magic and wonder of the season.  It's going to be a good one. 

happy rainy halloween

Have I mentioned how much I love the fact that my kids just throw on something from the dress- up bin and call it a day? Davis changed his mind three times in the last week... who has time for fancy costumes with that mindset?!













100% rain chance all day long. A dreary day kept expectations low. Not many trick or treaters out but we got a few goodies!

long time gone

I'm sure this sets some sort of personal record for longest absence. I'm not great at covering vast amounts of information in a nutshell, but I will try. Probably won't look much like a nutshell.

August began with a three ring circus. The Bryants were spread out in Birmingham, Nashville and the Turks and Caicos Islands. I don't know who was luckier - the kids to get undivided time with their grandparents or Hayes and me to get peace and quiet. I feel certain the grandparents got the short end of the stick, though they might nobly disagree. Children's museums, lake time, library time, movies... quite a way to close out the summer.

On two hours of sleep - but we're outta here!

The view from our terrace

Yeah, they had fun too

 Upon our return, we had a week until Peter began kindergarten. We spent it getting new shoes and making sure his uniforms still fit from when I bought them a month ago. (Phew!) Getting back into the swing of things was tough for all of us.

And then school began. And it was great. I mean, every day was better than the last and Peter loved his teacher and his class has great parents and Hayes takes him to school every day so they get time together. I'm not waking Matthew to get Peter to school - win-win for everyone.

Adjusting to full school days was tough. We had a temper issue that resulted in a field trip to a friend's house to apologize. Fingers are crossed that the lesson has been learned. Nonetheless, he hops into the car everyday ready to share what a great day it was. The only details I get are about the lunchroom, but he gets way more talkative when Hayes gets home. He is thriving, which is all we wanted for him and why we jumped through all sorts of hoops to find the right place for him.

Davis began preschool 3 days a week and Matthew goes to Mother's Day Out once a week. These two have been bonding a lot since Peter started school and it is really sweet to see.

As an alternative to a birthday party, Peter asked for a weekend trip to Atlanta. He was a toddler when we last visited my cousin there and saw the Georgia Aquarium. We have been talking about going as a family, especially since Hayes has a particular affinity for aquaria. This was the perfect occasion and I didn't have to plan a party. Win-win. Again!  We spent some great time with family and managed to load up the car before realizing that we needed a picture.  It didn't turn out.

6!

These boys love a road trip

Legoland Atlanta

Monkey see...

Since Atlanta we have jumped head first into soccer and swimming, football games and weekend adventures. Oh... and pediatrician visits too.

We have been in this exam room so many times lately that I can't even recall who was the patient this particular time.

One day we actually ran out of ice packs for bo-bos.

Can't decide if they belong in the ghetto or in 1983.

Please, would one of my sons please marry sweet Macie?!

Soccer!

Donut Den!

At a  Pinkalicious birthday party

Yo.

Titans game.... he came for the M and Ms.

This guy loves football.

Peter remains a very happy student. He loves school for many reasons, not the least of which is the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he eats every day for lunch. Every day. We are striking deals to choose one hot lunch a week. We are working on basketball dribbling these days; our games are actually well-matched since he's almost my height. He likes things done his way and has a strong sense of justice. (No idea where he got that...) He is clever yet also wise, brave yet cautious, strong yet so fragile. He is observant and thoughtful... his gears never stop turning.

Davis is adopting more of a big brother attitude now that Peter is in school. He is experiencing the joys of being "the big kid" while also learning what it's like to have toys taken and towers demolished by his little brother. He does not like the taste of his own medicine, but he recovers nicely and goes back to loving on Matty. Our car rides are made more interesting by his powers of observation and curiosity. His teachers adore him and often remark on how polite, affectionate and smart he is. He's convinced that he can keep up with Peter and Hayes's math riddles and wants so badly to read like Peter does. These two big boys are finding their groove together - they still fight a lot but not every interaction is confrontational. Finally.  He suffers from severe selective hearing but I can always count on him for a smile, no matter his mood.

Matthew is the baby, no question. He needn't speak because he has two proxy brothers. He needn't walk because someone always wants to hold him. He has two brothers to watch and mimic, and we must work on using their influence for good instead of evil. Matty is still a happy little guy in spite of persistent ear infections and bronchiolitis. He had a healthy summer but September brought the cycle back on. Tubes may be in our future. He loves music and cuddling, trains, cars and ramps. He will eat nearly any fruit, corn, peas, carrots... and don't even think about eating a cupcake in front of him without sharing. Big tantrum. Speaking of tantrums, he is experimenting with throwing fits and headbutting. It seems age two has arrived earlier with each subsequent child. I still can't bring myself to cut his hair.  People mistake him for a girl all the time but I can't cut those sweet curls - I'm too afraid they won't come back!

Hayes often leaves us at 5am for this view.  Hard to blame him.

Reenie's here!

I was sick so Hayes and Peter delivered the little boys to preschool.  Apparently it's rough being Mom.

We've got a serious case of Tiger Fever. 

Ensworth's homecoming tailgate before the game

Water break

Who says you need to walk in order to ride?