state of grace

Well, December went by quickly.

Note: I began this post hours ago and sat back down to finish - only to find a blank screen. And so it goes.

Every year it's a mad rush: holiday parties, shopping, organizing, planning and cooking. I did myself such a favor and finished the shopping early, had a lot of help with the family dinner, and devised a system for gifts that worked like a charm. I was able to relax and spend those winter days curled up with my boys. We had dance parties, we baked, we read, we explored, we crafted(!), we discovered new hobbies, we cleaned up after out elves, and someone even let us convince him to try pooping in a potty. I mean, a lot happened in a month. If you ask Peter, though, one of the highlights was winning a basketball championship with a buzzer shot that rivaled the Auburn Alabama game.









Christmas in Nashville is always a little quieter than it was for me growing up among 20 cousins and a dozen aunts and uncles. It seems so calm in spite of the noise that my own kids make. We celebrate Christmas night with church, dinner and family gifts so that Christmas day can be spent in pajamas with coffee and slippers watching the magic that only Santa can provide. It's always anyone's guess how Christmas Eve sleep goes for the kids. We've had Peter up from 10pm - 2am waiting for Santa, we've had a Benadryl-drunk Peter stripping at the table before falling asleep at the table, and we've had boys waking us at 5am to go downstairs. This year, Peter ran into our room at 3:56am complaining that his clock was moving way too slowly. It was clear that containing them would be counter-productive, so Hayes and I passed out on the couch at 4:30 while the big boys sampled all the loot. Yet another reason having a quiet day is convenient!

But NEWSFLASH!! Peter and Davis are friends! The big boys are actually choosing the play together - not just in the same room but partnering up against the imaginary villain of the hour. Their conversations are hilarious if not confusing. Their silliness is heartwarming and their fighting is frequent, but so is the forgiving.





Christmas in the middle of the week threw everything off - work schedules and travel schedules and school schedules didn't mesh very well this year. A few days after the holiday, I made the long awaited trek to Louisiana for my first visit since last New Year's. I'd been so lonesome and missing out on happy things like weddings, babies and showers make me even more so. The boys have been asking to visit for a while so I was determined to make it work somehow.




10 hours driving, one night in Birmingham, one lunch with a dear college friend, 473 of a 500 mile leg in the rain, coming waaaay too close to running out of gas, 7 DVDs and three pretty good co-pilots later, we arrived. A Christmas miracle.

No, a real miracle is my cousin's quadruplets born yesterday. At 27 weeks, it is utterly amazing that they are so strong and so healthy despite all hovering around 2 pounds. The smallest has been breathing on her own from the beginning. Three girls and a boy made their way into our family yesterday and I am so glad I am home to welcome them. There is no better tribe to join.

Cousins!
















It is the last day of the year, and I was talking about resolutions with the boys. Peter wants to work on "drawing better and listening better... and loving on [me] more." Davis wants to work on "finding more trains and putting the DVDs in." Clearly my explanation failed him.

2013 has been about the boys finding their places in the family. It's been about me taking better care of myself. It's been about Hayes taking on more responsibilities at work, tackling big challenges with big solutions and earning [more] respect from those with whom he works.

I've been thinking a lot lately about cutting myself some slack. I have high expectations for myself and all the hats I wear. While lofty goals are motivating for me, I am equally hard on myself when things go awry. That isn't good for me and it's certainly not good to model that for the boys.

I'm so proud of our family and the life we build every day. The days get away from me and the daily grind prevents me from focusing on the big picture. As the year comes to a close, I'm grateful for the strides we have made but I am excited about the year that lies ahead.

My resolution: I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

Happy, happy new year to you.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

Okay so frequency is not my forte. 

There's a sign I see for sale in cutesy shops that says, "Pardon our mess.  My children are making memories."  Let's just say my house is a wreck. 

November just flew.  Basketball practice and games every weekend, birthday parties, swimming, and football games (high school, Bama, and our Titans)... and then of course Thanksgiving.  It was an exciting month, though!  Lots to report.

He'd have been so perfect for the 80s

Swimming wears this one out!

His first of many pancake breakfasts

Our first snow of the year - in October!?

"Leafs!"

Mighty proud of his coast guard creation

at the Titans game - but mostly just paying attention to the bowl of M&Ms

These two love each other so very much.

Cheese!

Early in November, we found ourselves fighting yet another round of ear infections for Matty, which was finally the last straw.  He got tubes soon after and he seems so very much happier.  Once all that gunk was gone he could balance himself; he began walking within days.  He did end up with bronchiolitis again but it never turned into an ear infection, as it has done a dozen times before.  He got over it quickly and moved right along.  He is still gaining confidence on his feet but clearly enjoys his new perspective. It took some weeks for him to grow accustomed to socks and shoes since he'd been barefoot since birth, but now he finds random socks around the house and tries to put them on, regardless of their size.  If he sees me at the shoe bin, he bolts over to get his shoes on.  He adores his big brothers and can't stand staying on the sidelines.  He wants in whether it's a wrestling match, a playground game or a snack.  Especially snacks.

The snackiest boys you'll ever meet

He still only has 6 teeth, which had been an issue for eating.  Now he's gotten a taste of the good stuff and figured out a way to chow down on crackers and nuggets and pasta and pizza.  Thank goodness I don't have to rely on baby food pouches to get his fruits and veggies anymore.  Although he does love his applesauce! 


I have said from the start that Matty is a smiley boy but this past month he seems to have really come into his own.  Maybe the walking, maybe the tubes, maybe just the age -- he is happy as can be.  He went though a (thankfully) brief phase of banging his head on anything and everything - fits and tantrums.  Now it's all fun and games.  He sneaks that pudgy bare foot up onto the kitchen table while he eats, all the while watching me and smirking.  He scrunches his nose and smiles with his eyes... he's just so happy and precious! 

Waving to his brothers at swimming lessons

Pre-haircut ;)

Our extended family has grown a little bit in the past month, too.  My mom married her longtime beau while on vacation in Colorado. She still splits her time between Texas and Louisiana - and Nashville too, I guess! We also have a big wedding coming up in August.  Hayes's sister McCall is now engaged to "Uncle Jay" and they are in the throes of planning.  It's funny to think back about how exciting a time that was for me, yet also so very stressful.  You don't realize how much goes into that process until you do it yourself.  You don't know how fun it is, either! 

Thanksgiving began with Grandparents Day at Peter's school, which brought Reenie and Nanny into town for the festivities.  Peter was so excited to show off Ensworth and perform "Over the River and Through the Woods" in the musical program. 

With Nanny, McCall and Jay all celebrating elsewhere, our Turkey Day was quiet.  Reenie fed us a small feast and we settled in for a football weekend.  Not much shopping was done, but we took the big boys to see a movie and tinkered around the house.  Our big feast was Saturday night once McCall and Jay returned, and after our house divided suffered through the "most thrilling college football game in the history of college football."  As Jay and McCall both attended Auburn, they were very happy.  Hayes and Tommy, not so much.

Of course with the passing of Thanksgiving comes the onslaught of all things Christmas.  We hauled all the loot down from the attic, trimmed the tree and decked the halls.  Our elves, Flapperjinks and Sam, arrived from the North Pole with very specific instructions for the kids.  Get along.  Be kind.  Take care of each other.  Shouldn't be so hard, right!?  Right?!  We have seen glimpses of peace in which the boys are all playing quietly either alone or together.  Sharing, not picking, not arguing... bliss.  Short-lived, but bliss nonetheless. Matty is quite a train lover, much to Davis's dismay.  He hasn't had much competition for trains and tracks until now, so I've been busy building tracks massive enough for two kids to crawl around.  Davis has a habit of wanting something only after Matthew picks it up.  So he yanks it, which causes Matthew to scream and grunt and roar as his brothers have modeled so lovingly.  I'm actually glad that we have so many trains and tracks now - plenty to go around. 

Anyway, the elves.  Mischief makers in their own right.  Take a look!

This is a magical year for both Peter and Davis.  We have done some dealing with Santa and decided to change up our Christmas routine this year.  Hayes and I will give the want, need, wear, and read presents.  Santa is going to leave one pile of presents for the family instead of individual piles for each boy.  Frankly, everyone ends up using everything anyway - even the baby toys carry a sort of novelty for the big boys.  We'll see how that goes.  Maybe it'll cut down on the "...but Santa gave that to ME three years ago!" types of commentary. 

I am thrilled to report to that I am just shy of being finished with all the shopping and preparation for the Christmas hullabaloo and therefore I'm just shy of being able to relax and enjoy the magic and wonder of the season.  It's going to be a good one.